Name three things that have caused me great irritation this past week.

1) It’s amazing what happens when the QB goes down. Caleb Hanie has struggled at the helm, but there is no excuse for the implosion that is the Chicago Bears. They’ve looked like a beginning-of-the-season team with all of their mistakes and penalties. Sure, Forte’s out, but isn’t Barber supposed to be a veteran? The only explanation for the o-line mistakes, defensive misfires and lack of special teams is that a goat is loose in Soldier Field, having escaped the friendly confines and made its way across town. Someone better call animal control or better yet,  an exorcist.

2) I’m a Christian, but I don’t go running around praising Jesus for everything from getting a front row parking space to receiving a raise. So I’m annoyed by all this “second coming” talk about Tim Tebow. I’m glad he’s secure in his relationship with God, but I don’t appreciate him “praying” for field goals. And I find it equally annoying his loyal fans have taken to his “prayer stance” and are imitating him in their time of need, like a shorter line at Starbucks. Praising God for touchdowns, home runs and other winning acts of sport has always bothered me. I could be wrong, but God has better things to do than put a pigskin through the uprights.  I can’t help but recall a verse from Matthew and hope Tebow’s truly happy with his field goal rosaries:  And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.

3) Success in Shocker Nation. The Shox destroyed UNLV, snatched a win at Tulsa, then beat Utah State and all in one week. Yet, there are those Shocker fans lamenting the sluggish first half of the Tulsa game and the slow-to-react second half against Utah State and questioning the playing time of guys on the bench. Have they learned nothing? While they are busy grousing over turnovers, free throws, and why the afro-Shox were never put in the game,  they are missing out on an exciting beginning to the season. I’m certain these are the same “fans” who thought the NIT bid last year was a waste, who kickingly and screamingly cheered the Shox on to victory just to remind everyone it was “only the NIT.” 

(Oh, the afro-Shox are the three curly-headed white dudes on the bench: Wessel, Vautrauvers, and Baker. And I call them the afro-
Shox affectionately, having seen photos of my husband’s own late ’70s-early ’80s brownish ‘fro, and sympathized with my stepsons over their own so-called “m-fros” and unruly locks”).